I was listening some old Hindi music that came out in late 90’s, early 2000. They fueled my pre-teen and early teen years. Not sure because of the teen hormones or something else they meant so much. When I listen to them they take me to a special place. I crave that strong emotion I used to have. The strong interest to be noticed, be someone. Pretending to be the protagonist of some romantic novel, and the ability to be in such a haze in a busy or quiet street without a care for the world.
I am having a very usual stressful time. My school is going full-blown and I feel stressed. I am actually stressed about not doing the huge amount of workload I have this semester.. I am such a procrastinator. I do not study as hard as my classmates, I do not spend much time studying and spend more time about how I need to study and I am quite surprised how I have passed all these classes thus far in my college life. I am pretty proud to stay I still haven’t gotten a C.
Work is great. I feel guilty for having such a nice job I have with the wonderful people in my team and how they trust me with the responsibilities. Probably for the first time in my life I don’t come home from work exhausted and complaining about it. I feel I am not working hard enough here compared to when I worked two jobs and that makes me guilty, I feel I should be working harder. Maybe I like complication.
I moved into a new place. I quite like it. Sure, it’s not THE coolest place in the town and to be honest, I don’t care as much about living in “cool area” if it doesn’t fit my bill. But thankfully, I love the neighborhood. I like to walk there after work/school and see the pretty houses and the cats. I so far named them “scratches”, “Poop” and “Indy-2.” Every day I see something new like the poster below.
I am so frustrated with the current politics. I am trying my hardest to not think about this. It doesn’t matter what I think.
I am scared to graduate. I am scared to apply to grad school. What if I end up having a lot of student loans and not able to pay back or get a job that will help me pay that back? What a looser I would look like if my masters don’t help me get a job. The kids in my field are so sharp! I am intimidated.
I have had Mediterranean food straight for past 2 weeks. I don’t seem to get tired of all the halal style food places (halal guru, halal corner, halal bros, Aimee’s super fantazmo and bunch more)
I have purchased some spices from spice tree organics and bought a food processor so I can make my own falafel. I am hoping for less take out and more homemade food this year. So far this is the only kind of food that I can’t satisfy my craving by cooking at home. Here’s hoping to perfecting this recipe.
I bought a few cheap artworks in hope it will brighten up my place, but I am too much of a chicken to hang them. I bought some command hooks to hang them and one of them has already fallen (not sure what I expected)
I like my blue car, it’s small. It’s growing up way too fast though (lots of mileage)
I am running out of random thoughts and will now go watch “parade’s end” (Benedict Cumberbatch is kind of cute)
Enjoy my cat’s pictures.
How do I become numb?
My car stops in the middle of the road sometimes, I am in an urgent need of getting it checked or buying a new one. My phone screen went black yesterday. I have no motivation to go to classes. I started an internship that I really like and I really want to do a good job, but I feel as if I am failing. It all comes together and I feel as if I am drowning…
Disclaimer: This post does not take away my right to say “that’s karma for you” to my friends, family and coworkers.
Growing up I have always seen my mom put her hair in bun few times a day and the way she did it left me mesmerized. She didn’t use any hair tie, ribbon, clip or anything and in my tiny brain I couldn’t figure out how she does it. I tried tying knots in my hair but it never stayed. After many months of unsuccessful attempt I told myself only adults can do it. It somehow became the symbol of being responsible and an entry gift of adulthood. Few months ago when I kept zipping my hair in the backpack I realized it was time to master the skill of no accessory hair bun. The secret is to have very dull hair, the kind that you have 1 day after shampooing or when you come home from a walk through a foggy street.
That’s not the only thing that reminded me I was somewhat adult (and I promise it has nothing to do with my coming birthday this January) I had lunch with two of my favorite teachers from high school. They are the most amazing people I have ever met. Quite frankly, I don’t know where I would be if I hadn’t met them. They infused loads of confidence in me and pointed me in the right direction. They were always very kind and I felt very comfortable around them. I would take my lunch up to Mr. Blackwood’s class, even when I didn’t have him as my teacher. I always loved how everyone hung out in his room, students that never had him would come to class and ask lollipops from him. On Fridays he would bring brownies. Mrs. Wasiak has always looked out for me outside of just the class curriculum. She has told me about different opportunities that I should take and I did take them and so grateful I did. I enjoyed her classes and I remember she was the first one to introduce me to spinach and cheese ravioli (I am not sure if it was ravioli or tortellini, but it was some sort of spinach and cheese stuffed pasta) that she brought into class. It’s one of my favorite. I love them and can not explain in words how wonderful it was to catch up with them. I hope to keep in touch with them.
Another note on doing the adult thing, I am itching to do a project for few months and while I was in school, I said I would do it when I don’t have school and now that I don’t have school I couldn’t think of one useful and easy to do project. If you don’t know already I am getting my own apartment this coming summer and since it’s not a student housing apartment I will need to have my own furniture. I don’t want to make a bunch of big purchases so after carefully thinking I decided to remove a few items from my shopping list. As a student it is very useful to have your own writing desk. An area dedicated to studying. But knowing myself, the only place that I study the most is on my bed. I do not like sitting down in one place for a long period time and it seemed like a waste of space to get a writing desk. I know we would be getting a dining table because years of eating on my bed while I watch cooking videos led to too many dirty bed sheets, overeating without acknowledging and no quality time with family and food. And since I am not going to have a party or people over constantly I could just study on my dining table, but it didn’t seem right to store my books and other stuff on it. I still wanted the dining table to have the traditional dining table appeal. So, I started hunting for my options and after few hours of searching, drinking a gallon of tea and munching on crabs I decided on a small kitchen cart. I could roll it around from living room to bedroom, bedroom to dining room, dining room to the balcony and yeah of course in the kitchen. It’s small so it takes less space, I could put all my books and notebooks on the shelves and I can put my pens, scissors and other school supplies in the drawer.
It was a little hard to find something that did not look very much kitchen cart-y and weren’t expensive. So I bought a cheap kitchen cart and decided to spray paint it white. So this is currently what my floor looks like, I will post another blog post when it’s done to show the final product.
Overall today was a good day, getting some project done, meeting some of my favorite people and a very relaxed day.
The best way to win an argument is not to have one. We don’t earn a big trophy saying we won an argument and I am really interested in knowing how many times in internet history someone had a huge argument with people they didn’t know and at the end they said “You are right” and acknowledged their defeat. I bet the percentage is very small. The thing is that I know; I know people who loves to be rude or say something just for the sake of sounding smart will never agree with whatever the hell you are trying to prove. I know that. I know that often times they will end up taking the argument to a different direction or talk about how you look, talk about how funny your name is, talk about your religion, nationality. I mean, I did study the fallacies of argument, but someone who clearly picks out a thing just to be nasty doesn’t care about that. I thought this break would be wonderful. I would sink into my bed and read all the books that I have acquired (I counted, I have yet to read 23 books that’s currently in my bedroom)
I ended up being on social media most of the time. I found myself crying over the refugee stories posted on Humans Of New York and strangely found myself arguing over people who thinks Muslims are terrorists or how bad the religion is. The thing is I am not a super religious person and I am not going to claim myself to be a 100% pure Muslim. But what I do know is that there are different measure of extreme in this religion. According to my family and a 80% of Muslim population that I know a religious person would be modest, they would not raise their voice, they will be lovable, they will not gossip, they will say prayers, they will cover themselves properly and so on. While I agree the Muslim dominant countries are very corrupted I also would like to point out that “religion” is the most effective weapon of all. Government in those countries knows the easiest way to take control over people is the fear of going to hell. Prestige and respect is a huge thing in Islam and the Islamic rulers takes advantage of it (Not just Islam though, many religious leaders). I remember my dad arguing with one of his childhood friends on our dining table over Bangladesh government. Bangladesh is corrupted. The uncle (My dad’s childhood friend, I called him uncle) said “well the Islamic party should have taken control over it” and my dad replied, “You mean, the people who killed and raped thousands of people, helped Pakistani army to kill Bengali soldier during the independence war?” Uncle replied, “we would be much better off if we were part of Pakistan”
I could tell you all about what is wrong with his argument, but what is important is that he is blinded by the religious accessories they put on top of government. The person running for Islamic party had a slogan that said “if you want tickets for heaven, vote me.” I will let you decide how stupid that statement is and how exactly they manipulate poor and helpless people. My point of this post is not to defend any of them. My point is, the more we argue the more chaos we make. It seems like everybody is on a mission to sound smarter than the next person, to be better than the next person. “My religion is better than yours,” “my race is better than yours” and I am tired of this. What do I earn from pointing out a stupid, irrelevant topic on a cute video of a cat playing. Why can we not enjoy things, but rather want to be the center of attention and point out, a completely different thing to compare. Why can I not listen to Taylor Swift but also have to argue how Beyonce is so much better in her album and much better celebrity. I mean she probably is but why is that relevant in Taylor’s music video? Why in a civil right’s post some white person gets offended for not having the center of attention? Why people compare Bible and Quran when Bible had the luxury to change with time and Quran didn’t? Why do I have to constantly prove how “american” I am when I am paying my way through college and you get to enjoy unemployment benefit, child benefit selling weed. I do not care how you make your money, but I would care if you blame me for your problem. If you blame me for risking your luxury.
Anyway enough of my rant. I do not want to end this post with such heavy words. I am just a little bit of sad because I cancelled my study abroad trip to Cambodia. It was a very hard decision. After careful consideration, I realized instead of spending so much money on a month of study abroad, I could take two summer classes that will reduce me one semester and it will free up my next summer when I will finally be able to travel somewhere and volunteer without the pressure of study.
The only cool thing I have done in this break is going to the trail of lights. I also came home to jilapis (also known as jalebi) and I used my last dining dollars on chocolate croissant.
Happy Turkey Day! Hope you had an amazing, tummy stuffing holiday. For me, I came home from work with a fever and terrible unknown back pain. I feel very bad for thanksgiving for some reason this American holiday seems a little cursed apart from the tragic event that led to this holiday but also how this holiday is right before finals and do we need to talk about black Friday? Not judging you for getting that thing you got waiting in that long line, because I totally did too. My mother had been crying for a toaster oven because it’s energy efficient plus she hates how every time she has to take out all the pots and pan she stores there (Have I mentioned how smart she is about every little household things, or is it normal?)
So we went to Walmart and jcpenney to get a toaster oven and I also got a slow cooker. While I was waiting in the line, I was thinking how good it feels to have the financial freedom to want something to buy? (Not literally buying, because come on now! My dad never gave me a small loan of 1 million dollars) but knowing I could dream about it makes me feel a lot better.
I remember growing up not having any choice over what I wanted. My parents have always been very big on saving money, so instead of cheaply made sparkly hot pink backpack I had a camouflage backpack, which would hide the dirt. Mind you, I was not in Texas so that did not make me really happy. My parents told me the sparkly ones break in a few months and sure they did, but I thought that was a good thing, I mean they get to buy a new one with extra cool stuff and they did too. My dad has always been smart about making purchasing decisions, my mom? Sorta… sometimes it’s hard to argue with her when she is set on going to the other Walmart 25 minutes away because they might have the 3$ cheaper toaster oven. She also sucks just a little with American cooking; After discussing for two and a half day we settled on instead of me wanting to cook a whole turkey, I will cook a whole chicken and she can cut the turkey to make curry. I brought all the things needed to cook my herb lemon garlic-y chicken.
^^ Okay I know that’s not the prettiest looking chicken, but trust me it smelled good and I blame the knife to for not being able to chop the herbs finely. I stuck half of a lemon and some garlic cloves inside too.
After baking it, I put it on top of the counter and went back to my bedroom to read “the curious incident of the dog in the night-time” (Pretty hooked) and I fell asleep.
I woke up to find very well shredded chicken on the table and my baked chicken was nowhere to be found. Turns out my mother had taken the extra step to lower my workload. I was pretty upset for not being able to take a nice picture, but maybe was more upset to find whole garlic cloves in my bite. I asked her, “Did you take out the stuff from inside the chicken?”
“Well, I made a salad with the leaves (herbs) and squeezed the lemon juice on top”
[rolls eyes] “and what about the garlic cloves?”
“What? I didn’t see any”
The cloves were juicy and blended with shredded chicken. I tried my best to pick them out.
Oh! Forgot to mention! I got a french press and coffee grinder, my room smells pretty divine now 🙂
How are you doing? I just got back from “walk to end Alzheimer’s” and it was fun! Much needed positivity before I jump into midterms. I got my face painted for the first time, ate bbq taco from food truck and got lost few times. On wednesday I went to a laughter yoga in west austin and oh my god! how did I not know about this? So much fun!
I really really wanted to try some more mediterranean place so yesterday we looked up mediterranean food place on yelp and decided to try aimee’s super fantazmo. After we ordered our food my partner in crime pointed out at the cheesecake food truck and said “maybe they will have coffee flavored cheesecake!” I hope you know me well enough to understand any coffee dessert and me is kind of inseparable. I didn’t think there will be a coffee flavored cheesecake but out of three cheescake options one of them were mocha cheesecake (I KNOW!!!!!!) We had dessert before we had our dinner.
We were still pretty hungry so when we got served our food, we jumped into it like a fat kid in mcDonalds. It was delicious. I couldn’t finish the mixed rice plate so I brought it home with me and had a second dinner. (what? you guys don’t have second dinners? you are cray cray!)
The pictures don’t do justice but there were so much food and so much protein. For the first time in my life I hoped for just a little bit less food so I could mix them together without dropping food everywhere.
We then saw this ^^.
Tis the season to be basic is all I have to say. Anything pumpkin has gone basic for me (not pumpkin pie.) I expected guys in their skinny jeans and J crew sweater with perfectly placed beanie holding these but there weren’t that many people. I took one sip of it and it tasted plain nasty. Never liked alcohol anyway but others who did like it didn’t enjoy it either.
This is an attempt to recreate buzzfeed’s BTS cake. It didn’t turn out to be as tasty… but again, nothing can be less tasty if you put oreos, cookie dough and brownie batter.
Breakfast became a luxury for me since I started school. I drag myself out of bed around 7 in the morning to go to work by 7:30. If I am fortunate enough to pull myself out of the bed right when my alarm goes off, I will go to the Einstein Bros to get me a morning coffee. I used to be a big fan of their blueberry bagel with honey almond spread but lately I am not craving it as much and if I am not craving something as much I don’t see the point of taking in extra calories. On my way back from work sometimes I will grab a breakfast burrito and go straight to class. After class I will get home and eat everything inside of the burrito and throw away the tortilla.
I recently purchased a microwavable egg maker. It’s similar to making egg in a mug. But this is absolutely adorable and keeps the inside very moist rather than drying it out and sticking to the inside wall. I had bought frozen fajita veggies last week and I decided to saute them in the pan to give a little crunch. Then I put 2 beaten eggs in the egg maker and the fajitas. Covered them and cooked for 1 minute and then again 30 seconds. It came out perfect.
Recently someone introduced me to french toast. Well I always knew they existed but never really wanted to try them. My first attempt was to cook them at home. I used Texas Toast and soaked them for a little longer so they came out mushy. I would rather have a mushy sweet bread than tasting plain bread but some might disagree and argue that’s not french toast. On sunday when I got back to my dorm from Austin I bought some very cheap round top bread from heb, eggs and a small vanilla mocha coffee creamer. I know you are supposed to use milk but trust me on this one. Then I did what you are supposed to do. Mix egg and creamer (or milk if you are boring) and dipped my bread into it and fried them. I forgot to grab a syrup or honey so I ended up eating it by itself. But it was already very sweet from the creamer, didn’t even need a syrup. I highly recommend you trying out french toast with creamer than milk. I haven’t tried it out with coconut creamer or soy creamer so can’t tell you anything about them but if you decide to try, let me know!
So there you have it my fancy easy and quick breakfast that I will most likely be eating during 7pm instead of 7am.
The only few times in my life I admit that I made mistakes, this week was one of them and I would love to pass on that advice to anyone who is willing to hear. Most likely I know any sensible person would already know that but here it goes “Do not set up your tent when it’s raining.”
I am glad that we invested on a tarp. Who knew out of all the days of summer the one day we reserved for camping is going to be full of pouring rain. Speaking of which I suggest reserving your campsite in advance. You can do it online and pay it online if you are going to a state park. We got a pretty good camping site. Very close to the restroom and shower but not so close that you see everyone going in and out. We had good privacy. For tent, we picked a 4 person tent. Seriously! When buying tent make sure to think of it as you are buying for double the amount of people. We had comfortable space for two people. I cannot imagine 4 people in there. I believe it’s called ozturk instant dome 4 person tent. I am quite happy with the purchase. The tent was super easy to set up. Less than 3 minutes. For sleeping we got a twin sized air bed mattress. Even though it says on tent packaging that a queen size mattress would fit. The tent door is very tiny for that. And there wouldn’t be any moving space at all. We made the mistakes of getting an electric pumped one. We ran and bought ac inverter to pump the mattress from car. We also didn’t try to pump it at home before using it. It’s advised that you pump your mattress for few hours before using it. It was still comfortable but sleeping bag would probably have done the job. We also got a cheap camp light with fan and I am so glad that I did. Even with the raining and cool weather it definitely does get warm inside the tent and the very little airflow the fan provided was a life saver. We realized when the batteries went out around 4 am. It was our fault for not packing extra batteries. So pack extra batteries folks. Pack light. I brought 3 books and ton of food and other stuff. Get a freezer bag with travel size mouthwash, soap, powder (help you with sweat), shampoo and conditioner if you are thinking about staying for few days, lotion, hand towels and baby wipes. I kept the baby wipes in cooler so it felt like heaven in humidity. Speaking of which get a small cooler to keep water. We bought 24 pack water to wash our face and drinking. Bring extra pair of clothes and swimsuits, towels and a book. There’s nothing wrong with getting granola bars and take out food
Even though we had brought cooking stove and stuff, we couldn’t resist take out bbq.
Thankfully we had an extra towel to lay it inside the tent so we were able to wipe our feet coming in. We didn’t have to if I waited for the rain to stop to set the tent.
Have plenty of plastic bags to store dirty clothes and trash. Paper towels and flashlight is good idea. I also recommend having extra roll of toilet paper just incase. I have to say I was very pleased with how well taken care was the park. No horror in the toilet stalls. We saw park rangers all the time. For cooking I brough camping pots and pans, stove with butane.
We also had pancake mix (add water and pour kind) however we totally forgot oil. The pans were not nonsticky. So we settled for canned steak and potatoes. It was good.
If you plan on going out for stroll or paranoid about someone stealing your stuff. Invest in a very tiny locks to lock the zipper. If anybody wants to steal anything from your tent they might as well just use a knife to cut through it and you shouldn’t be taking expensive stuff to camping anyway, but it does give you peace of mind.
It was a pleasant experience over all. And I am going to do it again 🙂 hopefully all around United States someday!!